Surrender To The Madness: A Baby Story

Baby Gabrielle has been in our lives for 7 weeks now and can't believe how fast the time has gone (although I have to admit there have been a few days in there that have felt like they would NEVER end). I have barely written about the whole experience so here is her story...

On April 4th I woke up feeling the usual contractions that I had been feeling off and on over the last couple of weeks but this time they stayed consistent and they began to get a wee bit more uncomfortable with each one. Today was her due date, our doctor was on call so I figured ... this is it! I had two main priorities: #1 Get to Eclair Bakery and get my fill of their amazing pastries. #2 Get Nolan to Grandma's house.

Arriving at the hospital ... I had no idea what I was in store for.

We arrived at the hospital at around 10 a.m., way to early! I had heard too many stories about 2nd time births going so fast that I wanted to be sure I got to the hospital with enough time to get situated. There were some things I wasn't too happy about for Nolan's birth and I reasoned that those things happened because I had opted for an epidural. This time I decided to try to do this birth thing au natural ... BIG MISTAKE! If you had not has a child you may not want to hear this ... just skip to the next picture.

I did great up until 6/7 cm dilated, then it occurred to me that I did not need to be feeling this pain. I could make it stop with this wonderful thing called an epidural. So I cried Uncle and asked for the drugs ... but apparently not quickly enough. The next 3 cm happened in about 20 minutes and the scene went something like this....

Contraction: "AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! S#ht, F!$K, Holy Mother of God!" lots of crying

End of Contraction: "What is wrong with me?! What is wrong with my brain?! Why did I think I could to this? This is ridiculous" more crying
REPEAT over and over and over .... and over again

10 cm dilated: sounds that only an animal could make, Martin being clawed at and bit .. yes bit .. ok, I stopped the minute I realized I was biting him.

I am pretty sure I know when I went to 10 cm dilated because it felt like someone had taken a knife and ripped my insides out and then set my insides on fire. I had no idea it was possible to feel that much pain and not die from it. That's when the anaesthesiologist came it. He swabbed my back and was just about to put the needle in when I felt pressure. Sure enough, she was on her way and it was time to push. I screamed, "What about my epidural? I need my epidural" And when I say 'screamed' I mean SCREAMED! The nurse firmly told me, "Well honey, your having a baby instead". And that was it! No drugs. I absolutely PANICKED! I had never been so scared in my life. I was going to have to feel what was about to happen to my body.

I freaked out and the whole room was trying to get me to calm down so I could actually participate in pushing this poor baby out. I screamed and screamed and screamed. You know that dumb scene in that dumb movie where some laboring woman acts like a lunatic and you think, "Come on, no one really acts like that". Ahem... well ... that was me. I wanted it over and got her out in 3 pushes. Once it was over I was SO embarrassed! Thank god, I was the only woman on the floor delivering at the time.

Moral of the story: Drugs are good, very good. Get them!